Community is a word that is used regularly and has many contextual meanings and definitions—an online community, a professional organization, a place where people look out for one another. While I was in college, I experienced, for the first time, a true sense of community. It wasn’t Utopia, it was Northfield. Following the death of my father, I remember going to pick up my mail. As I stumbled towards my mailbox lost in thought, I was overwhelmed with a sense of belonging to the place and people of my community. My mail slot was stuffed with dozens of cards, flowers and notes of encouragement each of which had been carefully and thoughtfully written. My working definition for Community has been shaped by literature and my lived experience, but I like to think of Community as: a place where we belong.
Five years ago, we moved into our first home and had our first child. Over the years, we met a handful of our neighbors and waved at many. However, this past summer, we lost the use of our backyard and spent an unusual amount of time on our front-step. And something magical happened. We met and fell in love with our neighbors—nearly all of them! As more and more informal gatherings began to happen on a regular basis, a small group of parents and grandparents decided a block party once a summer wasn’t enough. We then started shopping around for a bouncehouse to rent for the kids. Three times this summer, we had block parties and began to further the sense of belonging to the block and the neighborhood. When you spend your summer nights watching a group of kids sled down a three foot hill in a kiddie swimming pool, your defenses and resistance wither away and you get to know people.
Relationships were forged on the front-steps and “stroller highway sidewalks” that line our block, but cemented when needs have arisen. When a neighbor had a ruptured appendix, a group of families banded together to watch their three kids and provide as normal a week as was possible. And as we put our summer clothes away, I am struck by the transition that has occurred on our block. It is nearly impossible to go outside and not catch up with a neighbor or two and taking our recycling out is now a thirty minute exercise.
As I have experienced these changes this summer, I am struck by a book called “The Power of Clan” written by a sociologist and a physician (Wolf and Bruhn). They analyzed communities from 1935-1984 and found an Outlier, which became a story in Malcolm Gladwell’s book of the same name. They found a town in Pennsylvania that was nearly immune to heart disease. For men over 65, the local death rate was half the national average. In addition, they had 0% crime rate and no usage of public assistance. Researchers looked for logical solutions and couldn’t link it to diet, exercise or genetics. Rather, the role of place or community shaped the physical wellness of Rosetto residents.
“People are nourished by other people,” said Wolf, noting that the characteristics of tight-knit community are better predictors of healthy hearts than are low levels of serum cholesterol or tobacco use. He explained that an isolated individual may be overwhelmed by the problems of everyday life. Such a person internalized that feeling as stress which, in turn, can adversely affect everything from blood pressure to kidney function. That, however, is much less likely to be the outcome when a person is surrounded by caring friends, neighbors and relatives. The sense of being supported reduces stress and the disease stress engenders.”
Who would have thought than an $80 bouncehouse rental split 8 ways would do so much? Cheers to the Dora Bouncehouse and the importance of neighborhoods!
Wendy – I love what you have shared….. What I am noticing in my life is reconnection with friends and creating “belongingness”… It makes my experience in life so much richer. Keep sharing, and I promise to do the same. It makes a difference. Thanks!
The “Birchwood Neighborhood (St. Louis Park) Movie in the Park” is this Friday night! My family feels very blessed to be living in a neighborhood that is so active – picnics, movie nights, progressive dinners, newsletter, social clubs, etc. We even have a fan page on Facebook to keep people informed and connected.
Well written! This is why I have a front porch and front gardens, and grill in my front driveway.
I love it Wendy! That is a fantastic idea. Any other best practices or unique ideas out there?
J. – I couldn’t agree more! Our neighborhood started “Flamingo Friday” once a month. (The host house puts the traveling Flamingos in their yard telling people where the party is) A very casual get-together – everyone brings a snack and their own beverages – all the kids run around and all the adults take turns watching them. We have become a close-knit community that works so well because we know each other! Winters in MN can be tough, no one sitting on the front steps anymore, so the once a month gathering has been really helpful. Maybe we will try a bouncy-house next summer….