argument
noun: ahr-gyuh-muh nt
a discussion involving differing points of view; debate:
As a child I was a listener. I loved being in the midst of a group of adults talking about all sorts of things. Being the youngest of seven kids I was exposed to lots of ideas, problems and challenges from an early age. Somewhere in my teens, I developed a taste for debate. Unfortunately, my high school didn’t offer a debate club. But, I loved a good verbal tussle, although I tended to listen and soak it all in rather than be involved myself.
Today, I still love to be in the midst of opinionated, passionate people, but I voice my opinions more often these days. When someone with a viewpoint that’s different than mine makes a good point, I’m pretty good about acknowledging it. I’m definitely one of those people who some will label as “wishy washy” or a “flip-flopper”. I love to learn. Because I’m constantly learning new things, my opinions very often change.
The people I’ve met through Leadership Twin Cities (LTC), who are fellow blog contributors here, are thoughtful, wise, passionate and opinionated. That’s why my involvement in LTC has been such a profound experience for me. Every time I’m around these folks I learned something.
What I loved about the LTC program was that each month’s session was devoted to a topic: metropolitan issues, health care, politics and media, arts and culture. Each topic is explored from many angles, with divergent viewpoints sought out and welcomed. I still remember one of my first sessions when I became embroiled in verbal fisticuffs with Phil Krinkie on the value of public transportation.
I worry about our society and am afraid that good people who avoid conflict at all costs are making us all play too nice. With all that pent up emotion, is it any wonder that when people finally blow it leads to furious shouting matches? What happened to the concept of civil discourse? It’s okay to differ people! Just because I don’t agree with you on the public option doesn’t mean I don’t love that book you just loaned me. A good rant is healthy sometimes. A good rant between friends can be illuminating.
It was comforting for me to read recently in the Star Tribune about a men’s group that meets in South St. Paul, known as the Argument of the Month Club. Maybe, the days of salons and debate clubs will make a come-back. If not, we still have programs like Leadership Twin Cities.
So, what topics get you fired up? Let’s talk!
Paul –
Great thoughts. Thanks for keeping the discussion going.
I agree that time is a huge factor. With everything moving at warp speed and so much information available, how do you know what to pay attention to? But, on the positive side, this wealth of information could be leading to lots of conversations among lots of groups. Instead, I see people who are terrified of change, that change is happening so fast they cling to their old ways and beliefs with such tenacity, they become entrenched in a position and shut down, walk away or change the channel.
There are pockets of like-minded people out there, on both sides of the political aisle. One of the things I like about Pres. Obama is his attempts to talk about big, complex issues. Sure, maybe he’s taking on too much, but there is movement finally.
One of my favorite places to watch passionate debate is the HBO program “Real Time with Bill Maher.” I’m a sucker for smart, funny people, and I’ve come to like and respect several Republicans’ viewpoints and even changed my opinion a bit based on their reasoned comments. When real discussion happens between panelists it’s magic; when it’s just shouting out key messages (which also happens) the debate doesn’t progress.
So, is there any hope for those terrifed, clinger-oners? Or should we focus on the overwhelmed with information/technology folks and try to engage them in conversation?
Sue,
Excellent post. I think this is an excellent time to discuss the ‘rules of engagement’ for having a serious debate.
‘Debate’ and ‘discussion’ are, at their core, intellectual pursuits. They are best done when participants dig into a topic, understand the macro and micro issues and apply some critical thinking about proposed solutions to arrive at a position.
Sadly, with life moving at warp speed for many people these days, the time investment needed to get beyond the headlines and the 30-second sounds bite just isn’t made. This leaves you with emotional reactions and snap judgments.
While you can have a discussion with someone that makes a hurried decision based on limited facts because they may be open to embracing a larger set of facts, it is almost impossible to have a discussion with someone whose ‘points’ are all emotional.
Now, if you disagree on a subject, it isn’t a matter of someone being ‘right’ and someone being ‘wrong’. Now it is a matter of someone being ‘righteous’ and someone else being ‘evil’.
Case in point – today I heard of some young actor & actress putting up a you-tube video encouraging young people to withhold sex from people who disagree with the premise of ‘man-made global warming’. This is both amusing and quite sad. This is what passes for ‘debate’?
How do we change this?
First, people, in good faith, need to take the time to really get both ‘the facts’ and a proper context to understand the facts. This involves work and there is no real shortcut for this first, critical step.
Second, people who DO want to have an honest debate need to not accept being bullied by personal attacks and emotional non-arguments. This takes a lot of personal courage, but it is also a critical step. Collectively, we need to bring civility and rational thought back to our national debate.
Finally, people need to be willing to follow the truth, where ever that path may lead. We all start with our position or our theories, but we need to be willing to embrace and follow the truth as we see it.
You can have people who look at the same facts and reach different conclusions – that is the basis for debate in the first place. But once you buy into a position and stubbornly start ignoring the data contrary to that position you have moved out of the realm of debate and into the realm of zealotry and ideology.
I hate to disappoint you but I can’t argue with your position at all!! I completely agree that “argument” and “debate” have become lost virtues in our culture.
The whole idea that we should avoid controversial subjects (politics… religion) in social settings is backward to me. How can we come to understand other points of view if we’re scared to share them???
I have good friends who ASTONISH me from time to time with political views that I think are completely backward. It doesn’t mean we’re not friends… and debating issues with them actually helps me refine and strengthen my views.
So while I would LIKE to disagree with you on principal, I can’t. Well stated!! Let the arguments commence!