Breaking up is always hard to do. Besides personal relationships, most people have a messy “break-up” with a personal trainer, hair stylist or Facebook friend. But what happens when a relationship with a nonprofit runs its course?
Some organizations have very strict rules for your commitment and they clearly tell you what finances, time and resources are expected from you. However at some small nonprofits the guidelines can be blurry. Primarily, at this grass roots level, they can’t define the need because the target is immediate and always moving. This can cause consternation for everyone involved.
Some natural, easy endings come when there is a change in your life around job, family or location. It is easy to explain and it makes sense for everyone involved and there is no need to justify your actions. But sometimes there isn’t an easy answer and there is a lot of stress that occurs, before someone makes a move.
In these difficult times many organizations are in a state of emergency. Staffing and funding are cut and all sources of assistance are being leveraged to the max. In addition, many individuals and families are feeling the same crisis at home. While this is the time nonprofits need the volunteers to “step it up”, the individual may be entirely tapped out and unable to give anymore.
So this is the situation I find myself in. I’ve been frustrated as my limited resources and talents do not seem to be what the organization wants, or needs. The nonprofit is disappointed because they thought they could rely on me and they expected me to stick with them through these challenges.
Both my resources and my time are scarce. I know a lot of parents are able to do it all, but honestly – I can’t. The timing couldn’t be worse for the nonprofit, but is there ever a perfect time to “break-up”?
So I did it. I said “it isn’t you, it’s me”, and I resigned. Am I deserting them when they need me most? Am I being too selfish? Did I over-promise and under deliver? Probably yes to all of the above. However, I am relieved and confident I made the right move.
What would you have done? Would you stay, or would you go?
There are definitely times when a board would like to “break up” with a volunteer. There are many challenges, particularly for a small nonprofit when their volunteers are unreliable or not performing as promised. Check out Jeff Urban’s post – sort of continues this discussion!
A well positioned organization would have a process for goal setting with Its stakeholders, especially board members. The plan should include all aspects of engagement including financial commitment, Fundraising and advisory roles. That said, the stakeholder should thinkabout a succesion plan once one’s commitment is completed. Unfortunately in today’s environment there is not much time for careful thought for either.
and how does the non-profit break-up with a well-meaning but not competent volunteer board member?
Wendy –
I totally understand your angst. I’m feeling a bit of the same with an organization I’ve involved with. Quitting seems like I’m pulling a Sarah Palin. But, life is short and there are lots of things to which I can devote my time and resources.
Only you know if you did the right thing. But, you’re a reasonable woman with pretty good instincts.
Your relationship analogy is a good one, and it sounds as if you’ve done the right thing by respecting the reality of your current situation instead of clinging to your earlier, different hopes for the involvement. If you stay on a board once those mutual hopes have become unrealistic, you’re just giving the illusion that leadership is present without actually filling the role. It’s much more honest and kinder to resign as you’ve done, so the nonprofit can identify and fill the resulting gap.