Although you can easily find countless lists in books and online about getting involved and making a difference, I wanted to share a list that has become a foundation for me in my personal journey.
Build Relationships by Listening to Stories
Each and every person has a story to tell. It doesn’t matter if they are the CEO of a company, community volunteer, retiree, out of work employee, or an elementary school kid. By spending time listening to people’s unique stories, you will be able to learn much about their interests, passions, and dreams. Often times we are so eager to find out where a person works or what their title is in their profession that we miss the true person under the surface. We are all so much more than can be summed up by a title or a place of employment.
CHALLENGE: Introduce yourself to five people, but each time you must uniquely describe yourself. Most people will tell the first person they meet their role and company — “I am a software developer at XYZ Company.” Where it gets harder is with persons two through five, as you will have to reach into yourself to figure out some other unique thing to say. By the time you get to person three, you will have a clearer vision of your true passions.
As I personally do this exercise I get down to the phrase, “I am a dot connector.” This describes a completely different component of my life that you would not know from my regular profession while igniting your interest in wanting to know more.
One of the biggest mistakes people make, in my opinion, is immediately making an internal calculation of a person and how they might be able to help you today. In my experience it is far more valuable to create ongoing relationships through genuine interest in the other person instead of the superficial interest in what they can you do for me. It is amazing how small a world we live in and how often we can learn the most profound lessons from those that we least expect.
Be Involved
The amount you can learn about others, the community, and yourself by being involved is remarkable. First off, the most important thing about being involved is that you choose something tied with your passion. Only you can know what gets you excited and energized, and if you choose an activity that you have passion for you will be outstandingly successful. For some people it is volunteering, for others it is serving on a board or running for elected office. The key is to take that first step to be involved and the impact you will make on that organization will often far exceed what you thought possible. Be involved with all of your energy and excitement and make a difference. When you get to a point when you’re losing energy and you are no longer looking forward to being involved, it is more than likely time to move onto the next opportunity. A wise person once shared with me a thought that will always stay with me — As you get more involved in the community you will be asked more and more to get involved with different organizations; remember it is always fine to say no if it isn’t a good fit and you lack the energy since by saying no you are giving someone else the opportunity to say yes.
CHALLENGE: Examine the organization you are currently involved with and ask yourself if you still have the energy, excitement and passion you did when you first started. If you don’t, think about what might be missing and create a plan to re-energize, or consider moving to another opportunity to give someone else a chance at this opportunity. If you are not currently involved, spend some time looking at organizations where you can share your passion and give that new group a try.
Try something New
It is so easy to fall into a routine whereby you do the same thing over and over. Force yourself to try one new thing each year that will stretch you in new ways, broaden your perspective, and open up new opportunities. This new activity should be considerably different from your regular routine in order to shine a new light on an area that you have not explored in the past. Examples could include taking a creative writing class, participating in a community leadership program (Humphrey Policy Fellows, Leadership Twin Cities, FBI Citizens’ Academy, etc), or teaching a class on a topic you enjoy. I started following this advice as I left undergrad, and it has become a core value that I strive to meet each year. The experiences are amazing, and often it is truly remarkable how after going through an activity you find ways to relate it back to your regular occupation.
CHALLENGE: Identify one new activity that isn’t related to your regular work and go give it a try. It will have the most impact if it is something that will stretch you a little and broaden your perspective. Share your experience with friends and encourage them to also try something new!
I love these steps and use them myself. My favorite is the listening to stories to build relationships. In my work get lots of opportunities to listen to people’s stories. I’m often taken aback at what others have to teach me and are willing to share with me. I’ve head stories of hope, laughter, pain, fear, and moe…and I get to remember these people for how their story touched me rather than for what they can “do for me.” It’s a gift people have that they can do with no training – to share a story about who they are when asked questions that evoke story sharing. What works for me is to ask questions like: What are you most proud of in your work this week? Or Why did you start that organization/company/group?